Sympathy
by Lizzy3
Summary: This is a songfic to "Sympathy" by the Goo Goo Dolls. It's about Harry. It's got a dark theme hence the PG-13 rating. I might continue it if people like it. R


Disclaimer- Okay, the story is mine. I absolutely love this song. It's "Sympathy" by the Goo Goo Dolls. The characters are JK Rowling's. Enjoy the story.  
  
~Stranger then your sympathy  
  
And this is my apology  
  
I'm killing myself from the inside out  
  
And all my fears have pushed you out~  
  
Harry sat at his desk in his room. He couldn't stand staying here. He felt guilty because he was here and his people were in peril. It was entirely fault. He'd pushed all his friends out. Ron, Hermione, Sirius, Professor Lupin, Ginny, even Professor Dumbledore. He couldn't stand they looking at him like he was the most pitiful thing in the whole world. This was his grave; he didn't deserve their sympathy. They were in just as much shit as he was.  
  
~I wish for things I don't need  
  
All I wanted  
  
And what I chase won't set me free  
  
All I wanted~  
  
He only thought of a home. He wanted to go to the Weasley's and endanger them. He couldn't help it. He knew it was selfish. He wanted to divulge himself in the search for a family. He wanted to run away from his fears; he just wanted to run away from everything. The only way he could keep them safe was to stay away.  
  
~And I get scared but I'm not crawling on my knees  
  
Oh yeah everything's all wrong yeah  
  
Everything's all wrong yeah  
  
Where the hell did I think I was~  
  
Sometimes he would wake up in a cold sweat and almost owl Sirius. He saw his mum and dad disappearing into a green smoke and Cedric's dead body. He was Voldemort rising from the cauldron, Wormtail's bloody arm and his wailing. He was the Death Eaters looming over him, ready to suck the life out of him with a curse. Sometimes he wished they had.  
  
~Stranger then your sympathy  
  
I take these things so I don't feel  
  
I'm killing myself from the inside out  
  
Now my head's been filed with doubt  
  
It's hard to lead the life you choose  
  
All I wanted  
  
When all your luck's run out on you  
  
All I wanted  
  
You can't see when all your dreams are coming true~  
  
This is what Harry had chosen. He could have stayed with Dursley's when Hagrid came to get him. He could have headed Dobby's warning in his 2nd year. He could have chosen to stay on Private Drive every summer but he didn't. He had dug his own grave. He had friends, something he had dreamed about all his life. While reality was happening around him before he hadn't noticed it while he was with his friends but now that they weren't here he noticed how bad it was.  
  
He still couldn't shake the bitter feelings inside. Voldemort was threatening to take his friends away from him. They were the closest to a family he could wish to have. Why did he have to keep taking all Harry's happiness? If there hadn't been a Voldemort his parents would still be here and everything would be great.  
  
~Oh yeah it's easy to forget yeah  
  
You choke on the regrets yeah  
  
Who the hell did I think I was~  
  
He had felt invincible. He had tied for the Triwizard tournament. Then his world came crashing down. Why did he have to go all noble? Why did he have to bring Cedric? Why did he have blood on his hands? He should have just taken the cup. Cedric would still be here if he had just done that!  
  
~Stranger then your sympathy  
  
All these thoughts you stole from me  
  
I'm not sure where I belong  
  
Nowhere's home and I'm all wrong~  
  
They had picked his brain and they knew all he thought. Somehow that wasn't a comforting thought. He had felt at home at Hogwarts and at the Burrow but now he just couldn't feel at home anywhere. He didn't think he'd ever fell at home anywhere ever again.  
  
~And I wasn't all the things  
  
I tried to make believe I was  
  
And I wouldn't be the one to kneel  
  
Before the dream I wanted  
  
And all the talk and all the lies  
  
Were all the empty things disguised as me~  
  
Who was he kidding? He wasn't a powerful wizard! If he was he could have stopped Voldemort's rise, he could have stopped Cedric from dieing. He could have stopped Wormtail going back to his master. He felt weak. He'd never have the family he dreamed of. His friends couldn't come closer. They were already in danger and he wouldn't have them in anymore. He lied to them, told them he was fine. He was a hollow person, no feelings. They were just…….cut out.  
  
~ Yeah stranger then your sympathy~  
  
Silver blade…..slit, slit.  
  
~Stranger then your sympathy………….~  
  
A/N~ Okay, sorry about the little cliffhanger at the end, if you like it I'll write another chapter. If you don't get the ending then you don't need to know. R&R! 


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